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This Week’s DARE At A Glance:

Partnership: A real treat this week. The beautifully illustrated Nautilus science magazine. Animals, space, psychology, technology - it’s all there; interviews, articles and incredible stories.

The Comfort Zone: What is it, why is it, and how do we operate outside of it?

‘I’m sorry, but I don’t feel comfortable with that’: How do we stop rescuing others from their own discomfort?

Book of the Week: ‘We’re Going On A Bear Hunt’ by Helen Oxenbury and Michael Rosen.

My Week: Unicorns and back to the racecourse.

“You built your own bespoke comfort zone, stone by stone, to protect yourself from imagined dangers.

So you can redesign it any time you want.”

The Comfort Zone: Handcrafted in your past, patrolled by your non-conscious, enforced by your emotions: and controlled by YOU!

Let’s be honest. The comfort zone isn’t a natural habitat. You weren’t born into it. It’s different from anybody else’s. Bespoke to you.

You built it years ago. Stone by stone, moment by moment — from your childhood, your hard lessons, your experiences of shame, fear, triumph, trauma, the wins you were told not to celebrate, risks you were taught not to take.

This curated experience archive becomes an ‘if… then…’ algorithm.

When the ‘then…’ part could be a scary consequence - your emotions ignite (the Tiger roars!) to make you Act to get back into the zone. No conscious decisions are required.

The comfort zone is your healthy non-conscious brain doing its job: predicting the future based on the past and firing up your Tiger to avoid discomfort. And opportunity.

It is not laziness. It is not weakness. It is protection.

But you cannot DARE – Decide and Act to get a new Result and then face deep Evaluation without getting to understand this comfort zone / emotion thing and learning how to move past it.

So, here’s the truth that ALL high performers know: your conscious brain has full veto power. Just add education about what emotions are and why they come (covered above), a pinch of purpose and a tablespoon of courage.

You can override the impulse to run. Not by suppressing fear — but by walking with it.

Not by erasing emotion — but by acting despite it.

Feel the warning emotions and notice the thoughts, say thank you for the alarm bell, carefully consider the risks – assess and DECIDE!

You don’t Kill the Tiger; you Tame the Tiger.

And then you write YOUR story with your pen, not your Tiger’s story.

That is the point when we WAKE UP and DARE!

“I’m Sorry, But I Don’t Feel Comfortable With That.”

And in a low performing team, the room pauses in horror.  A ‘bad thing’ has happened. The idea is walked back. The challenge is softened. The performance bar is lowered.

Why?

Because this phrase has come to carry unjustified moral weight. Somebody says they feel ‘unsafe’ and play must stop: no debate.

Let’s be clear: there are times when discomfort is a signal of boundary violation, of psychological harm, of real danger. That must be respected. But that is not generally where this phrase is used in the workplace.

The phrase is more often used as a shield against a request to leave the comfort zone in order to perform, to compete, to transform, to survive!

When we retreat in the face of that phrase, we place the emotional load on everyone but the person who said it.  

What I often see is an attempt to rescue the ‘uncomfortable’ person by asking how we could do it in a way they would be comfortable with.

‘Rescuing’ a ‘Victim’ from a ‘Perpetrator’ is a dysfunctional drama as set out brilliantly in the ‘Karpman Drama Triangle’ which I’ll cover in a later newsletter. Once you’ve seen it, you can never unsee it as it plays out before you. And as a high performer, you can then decide to step outside of it.

How?

Sometimes gently, and always firmly, we must challenge. Above all: we must hold the line of expectation:

Decide, Act to deliver our agreed Results and then Evaluate with integrity.

Book Jim To Speak

Book Of The Week

What must you do when you’re on a scary quest and you can’t go over the obstacle and you can’t go under it?

The children will tell you what you must do with one loud voice:

‘Oh no! We’ve got to go through it!’

So this week, as I’m writing about dismantling the protection of the comfort zone, to set out on our quests, let’s revisit Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury’s Masterpiece: “We’re Going on a Bear Hunt”

My daughter Rosie and I loved it so much we upgraded, after several years with the cardboard edition, to the beautiful pop-up edition.

My Week

Well, that was short! I love a long weekend. But I do also love my work. This week felt a little too short.

At the beginning of the year I was approached by a very exciting European tech “unicorn” to architect their transformation to even higher performance with them. It’s a big commission and we have an ambitious aim.

I visited their HQ to meet the Executive team L&D Team a few weeks back.  This week, with my brief firmly understood from all angles, my design work began. A very rewarding week and the initial designs have been well received.

The team and I launched our first EVER Meta Ad this week. This is the advert that I filmed whilst flying an R44 helicopter for my film crew last week.  Let us know what you think of it if you see it on Instagram.

A keynote at York Racecourse for a wonderful conference of Head Teachers from around the world was the icing on the cake. You could taste the energy, leadership and passion for lifelong learning in the room. But how can you tame the Tiger and Act to deliver your Result when every day is filled with activity and calls on your time?

Unsurprisingly “Change Happens in your Calendar” has been the most quoted on LinkedIn and in the many lovely messages on social media. Thank you all. 

And speaking of ‘DARE:to speak’ – a huge thanks to everybody who has signed up and taken the course. You can always hit reply to this email with any feedback. It’s actually me writing (not Chat GPT) and yes, that’s my actual email address.

Write your story 🖋️ (Stumble trip! Stumble trip! Stumble trip!) 

Jim